Jordyn -- Rough Draft

Jordyn

a story of redemption redone

by Cory Allen Heidelberger

Rolling Stones, "Saint of Me," 1997, screen cap.

 

And could you stand the torture
And could you stand the pain
Could you put your faith in Jesus
When you're burning in the flames
I said yes

I do believe in miracles
And I want to save my soul
And I know that I'm a sinner
I'm gonna die here in the cold
I said yes, I said yeah

I said yeah, Oh yeah, Oh yeah
You'll never make a saint of me

--Rolling Stones, "Saint of Me"

 

 

Chapter 01 -- Word

text will go here. maybe links. pix and vid. michael p, hold your fire.

If God wanted to make Himself known, wouldn't there be easier ways to do it? Why this insistence on burning bush and parable, on mystery and bloody sacrifice? "Hi, I'm God. Let's talk." Does it have to be any more complicated than that? Why leave us talking to ourselves, never sure whose voice that is in our heads, never sure if that vibe is you or hunger? Careful what you wish for.


A hard day's drive from anywhere the masses pay attention to, a place unfixed in the popular geography. prairie, prairie town between prairie lakes, a knot in the mostly neatly squared mesh of roads and fields, like moss in a fishing net.

she—we will know her better. that's why we are here, why she is here. for now:

  • 20
  • should eat more
  • horselike face, jaw and nose too long, like the rest of her, to be mistaken for any typical icon of feminine beauty

she is there, writing, speaking to no one and everyone. words, abstractions doubly, from mind to hand, hand to keys, keys to wires to chip and then the split, a nothing divided neatly into endless somethings, one slim branch to the screen and her eye to confirm the track of the initial spark, the other to memory and wires and air, out myriadfold to all who would receive, not knowing whence those thought bits come. magic in every moment.

next text

next test

next tent

next tempt

she does that, toying, chewing the words, sounds in her head, sounds at various intervals throughout history channeled now to the tap-tap code of her keystrokes and all the electrons connecting her neurons and the multitudes'.

Chapter 02 -- What's Wrong

Where

So why are you here?

To do God's will.

No, no. Why are you here?

Here? This house? this town?

Yes.

Does here matter? Can't I perform God's work anywhere?

You tell me that God's work required that you take this form, this body. If the flesh matters, so does the space, the physical location.

You're paying attention. Good.

Now why this place? Why not the center of the empire?

Jesus didn't preach in Rome. He spent a lot of his time in the backcountry.

But the big show was in Jerusalem, a historical center. Are we going on a trip?

Maybe we're in the new Jerusalem.

Are we?

[long pause] I can do what must be done here.

But don't you have to reach people? How can you do that in the middle of nowhere?

You invent these tools that should bring you closer to understanding what I mean about time and space being porous and flexible, but you still don't get it. This is so much about the word, and for that... well, what more do I need than a keyboard and a good Internet connection?

And that's enough? Words on a screen?

I am the Word. [he flinches, walks away] Is something wrong?

[not looking at her] I don't know why you scare me.

[reworking her answer] Words serve their purpose. Jesus did his work in the flesh, but even God in flesh can only touch so many lives. How many people actually knew Jesus? How many know me? I could live in New York City or Beijing, or I could have a million "friends" on Facebook, but I still wouldn't really know any more people than I do here. I can walk to and talk to and look in the eye of only so many people each day. Imagine me speaking to a hundred thousand people in a stadium. That still is not human interaction. I am mediated there: yards and yards of space, electric speakers instead of my voice, electric lights instead of my face, anyone farther than the first row filling in the gaps with what they want to see and feel. And then I am mediated by memory, as most of those people are even that close to me only that once, and I move on to the next city, the next stadium. We live and interact in the full context of our bodies and our places, seeing each other time and time again, sharing the same days and clouds and streets. In all that will come, I still touch you more now—I do more of what needs to be done now.

And that matters?

 

More than anything. You, and Kari next door, and Clara and Jack, and the Almazar brothers, and the church council. Everyone I see, everyone who sees me here not just as a name or an image online but as that strange woman in the grocery store—they matter. The Internet could disappear tomorrow, and I could still do all the work the world needs right here.

But I don't get it. You talk about changing the church, changing the world.

I don't talk about that. I talk about doing the work that must be done. You talk about the worldly changes that work will cause.

But those changes

Gravy. Sideshow.

Try history.

Does history matter? If I run a race today, and I win, does tomorrow's weather or stock market change the record books?

Don't you have to consider the consequences of your actions?

I do. Every day. I'm ready for them.